Catherine,
The best part of today is that you don't have to do anything that you don't really want to do. Go over the original game plan and make sure you are still on track. You are having a hard time keeping the target in sight, and a stray bullet will lead to serious consequences. Ask other people to go away if they are infringing on your space.
Everyone who is doing college right is busy right now. That fact is particularly why I hate when people answer "busy" when I ask how they are doing. You aren't special. You're just like everyone else who goes to class and finds other uses of their time afterward. Let's just say.. if what you do completely defines who you are, then I feel sorry for you.
I was wondering when it would happen though. Procrastination has caught up with me. I remembered at 2:00pm today that I have a midterm at 3:00pm tomorrow. Unfortunately, that bit of studying only adds to the three other papers I'm worried about for a 5-day span of time. And the beauty of it? I realized that I can do it, because I've had ten years of practice. Really, though, procrastination and me? Best friends.
Ah, the life of a student.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Give Us a Heart For Love Alone
Catherine,
The people who are shaking their heads in disappointment probably don't understand the true meaning of what you're trying to say anyway. Decisions made today will not have a great impact on your future. It is not necessary to focus too hard on the outcome. Confusion works to your advantage, if you play your cards right.
A couple weeks ago in one of my classes, my professor projected an image of a Muffler Shop sign with a political message on it. She told us to freewrite our initial reaction to it. Immediately, I spotted one message that stood out to me as a reflection of the author's perspective. For an hour, the class discussed different aspects of the message.. tried to figure out what it really meant. We strayed to many possibilities but none of them led to what I wrote down. By the end of class, our professor led us to the conclusion I had drawn at the beginning.
The last few days I have been completely wrapped in different problems, one after the other. Some having nothing to do with the other. Ultimately, I was giving myself a headache with all the negativity. Some things were beyond my control, and I'm trying to learn to shut that shit off.
But for the part that I do have control over...
It's been three years here. I've involved myself in different activities on campus. I've met hundreds of people. I've been to events, dinners, lunches, talks, meetings, workshops, socials... And still I find myself not fully connected. I could blame it on my negative attitude, but I know that I've put in a lot of effort into finding my place here.
The truth is.. I left something at home that cannot be replaced no matter how many hours I spend away from it. In high school, I found the greatest friends anyone could ask for. They are the people I can cry with for hours, laugh with for days, say random things with and not be shunned. In their presence, I feel content, loved, and fully alive. Each of us is comfortable with each other to the point where we know each others' worst qualities yet still choose to call them our best friends. Not all of us grew up together, but we were present during the formative years that created the foundation for the men and women we will become. Becuse of that, we still find ourselves reminiscing and picking up where we left off. Three years after graduation, I see that the bond we formed still exists and is probably stronger than ever. We spend time together, and by the end of it we all crave more.
That's true friendship.
I don't regret my choice to come here, but I guess I'm still learning my purpose for being here. Sometimes we have to go away to find that the answer was right in front of us at the beginning.
The people who are shaking their heads in disappointment probably don't understand the true meaning of what you're trying to say anyway. Decisions made today will not have a great impact on your future. It is not necessary to focus too hard on the outcome. Confusion works to your advantage, if you play your cards right.
A couple weeks ago in one of my classes, my professor projected an image of a Muffler Shop sign with a political message on it. She told us to freewrite our initial reaction to it. Immediately, I spotted one message that stood out to me as a reflection of the author's perspective. For an hour, the class discussed different aspects of the message.. tried to figure out what it really meant. We strayed to many possibilities but none of them led to what I wrote down. By the end of class, our professor led us to the conclusion I had drawn at the beginning.
The last few days I have been completely wrapped in different problems, one after the other. Some having nothing to do with the other. Ultimately, I was giving myself a headache with all the negativity. Some things were beyond my control, and I'm trying to learn to shut that shit off.
But for the part that I do have control over...
It's been three years here. I've involved myself in different activities on campus. I've met hundreds of people. I've been to events, dinners, lunches, talks, meetings, workshops, socials... And still I find myself not fully connected. I could blame it on my negative attitude, but I know that I've put in a lot of effort into finding my place here.
The truth is.. I left something at home that cannot be replaced no matter how many hours I spend away from it. In high school, I found the greatest friends anyone could ask for. They are the people I can cry with for hours, laugh with for days, say random things with and not be shunned. In their presence, I feel content, loved, and fully alive. Each of us is comfortable with each other to the point where we know each others' worst qualities yet still choose to call them our best friends. Not all of us grew up together, but we were present during the formative years that created the foundation for the men and women we will become. Becuse of that, we still find ourselves reminiscing and picking up where we left off. Three years after graduation, I see that the bond we formed still exists and is probably stronger than ever. We spend time together, and by the end of it we all crave more.
That's true friendship.
I don't regret my choice to come here, but I guess I'm still learning my purpose for being here. Sometimes we have to go away to find that the answer was right in front of us at the beginning.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Today, I almost ran over a stupid pedestrian.
Catherine,
Seek loving support from good friends when you feel the most vulnerable. Your past cannot be changed so make the effort to move on. You have a great future ahead of you, but you will have to tie up some loose ends. Share with others your unique approach to life.
Off to Irvine/San Diego... :)
Seek loving support from good friends when you feel the most vulnerable. Your past cannot be changed so make the effort to move on. You have a great future ahead of you, but you will have to tie up some loose ends. Share with others your unique approach to life.
Off to Irvine/San Diego... :)
Monday, April 7, 2008
Living the Life of a Taurus
Catherine,
A chance conversation with a stranger has the ability to open your eyes to all that is possible. You may find yourself caught in the middle of a tense situation today. Try to get yourself out of the line of fire. Let the parties find their own solution to the dilemma.
Really though.. These horoscopes are scary accurate recently.
A chance conversation with a stranger has the ability to open your eyes to all that is possible. You may find yourself caught in the middle of a tense situation today. Try to get yourself out of the line of fire. Let the parties find their own solution to the dilemma.
Really though.. These horoscopes are scary accurate recently.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Communication.. Understanding
Is it possible that all quarrels and problems exist due to a lack of effective communication? If we continue to feed off of someone else's emotions (anger, sadness, etc.) rather than attempt to create a dialogue that reveals the underlying problem, we only sustain misunderstanding.
Misunderstanding and ignorance attest to the prevalent issue of prejudice. I've come to realize that racist attitudes are not necessarily self-taught, and some people created opinions based on what they grew up around and the influence of others. However, when you call it to their attention that a term they used or something they said is politically incorrect, we can begin to rebuild their worldview and break down the ignorance that taints our country.
On a much smaller scale though, I know that many of my friendships would be healthier if people honestly said what they were thinking. No opinions should be silenced, and the only way we can work through issues is to communicate. If I found the courage to tell you exactly what prompted me to do what I do, perhaps you would respect my decision. If you told me what was on your mind and stopped hiding the thoughts behind your actions, maybe I could figure out a way to change.
In the near future, I hope we can reach true understanding. And then keep it to ourselves to prevent drama that inevitably follows.
Misunderstanding and ignorance attest to the prevalent issue of prejudice. I've come to realize that racist attitudes are not necessarily self-taught, and some people created opinions based on what they grew up around and the influence of others. However, when you call it to their attention that a term they used or something they said is politically incorrect, we can begin to rebuild their worldview and break down the ignorance that taints our country.
On a much smaller scale though, I know that many of my friendships would be healthier if people honestly said what they were thinking. No opinions should be silenced, and the only way we can work through issues is to communicate. If I found the courage to tell you exactly what prompted me to do what I do, perhaps you would respect my decision. If you told me what was on your mind and stopped hiding the thoughts behind your actions, maybe I could figure out a way to change.
In the near future, I hope we can reach true understanding. And then keep it to ourselves to prevent drama that inevitably follows.
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