Arrivederci, Summer Love!

Catherine,
Any doubt you had about your current position in life is put to rest as the Moon makes its way into a new Sign. You would add much to your credibility if you converted some old rivals into allies. Work hard to convince unlikely partners to go along with your ideas. Do not break anything that can't be fixed.

The last couple of days reconfirmed the blessings I have in my life. After the experiences I've had this year, I finally took a moment to look back and consider how they affected me. As I leave my favorite city again, I go with the knowledge that everything happens for a reason. Change is okay. And when I come back, some things may be different while others remain frozen in time until I'm ready to pick up where I left off. No amount of force on my part will keep anything the way it is if it is not meant to be. Therefore, I vow to stop trying to control what I cannot and let nature take its course.

I'm still unsure of who I am becoming, but for the first time I can enjoy life and simply live an adventure. Each day is a chance to change for the better, so why hold on to the past when the future is already brighter?

Last Weekend at Home

Catherine, When you're in this kind of great mood, the only person to whom you owe an explanation is yourself. It might not be what you want to hear, but you and a romantic partner may be more comfortable as friends. Don't try to continue a relationship if you are getting nothing out of it. Avoid blaming anyone today without hearing his or her side of the story.

I'm leaving home again in a few days, and I don't know if the move has ever been this bittersweet. I have so much to look forward to this semester, and I've actually moved my trip up a couple of days. (If you know me, you'll know that this is epic.) But the most eventful summer of my life is concluding. Soon everyone will be adopting a new daily routine once again, so I know we'll just have to put things on pause until we reunite. However, with my recent history I know that when I come back, things may not be the same yet again.

I hope this time is different.

Last Eleven Days of Summer

Catherine,
You suddenly have the power and the desire to make dreams come true, whether they're yours or someone else's. Work on improving your own image before you try to change someone else's. You are the most important person in your life right now. Someone may be trying hard to make you look bad.

This may be the only time in our lives when we are allowed to be self-centered. We are young. A lot of young people waste their years worrying about other people.. whether it is in a relationship, focusing on what others think of them, or obsessing over someone else's life. They become so engrossed in one thing that they cannot see clearly past to notice the opportunities awaiting.

We need to live unapologetically and stand for something. We need to learn the beauty of balance. We need to find our purpose and our personality without constantly comparing ourselves to others. We need to try new things, meet new people, and find passion without relying on others to make us happy. We need to break molds and believe that we are invincible as long as we're alive.

Our youth is short. The world might not be a better place once the opportunities pass us by.

Just Throwing It Out There...

Catherine,
Those who like being watched will just have to be satisfied with a distant audience right now. Problems in your personal life will continue to intensify unless you have a heart-to-heart talk with a loved one. You must stop avoiding the difficult issues. The two of you must try to spend more time together.

The Break-up in Pietrasanta

On the second night of our stay in Pietrasanta, my friends and I decided on a pizzeria near the main town square. (Pietrasanta is such a small town that we had walked the entire length of the commercial area and seen the menus of every restaurant possible.)

Halfway through dinner, we all became antsy for the nutella pizza dessert we pre-ordered. However, Tara turned our attention to a couple that was sitting at the table next to us. They were too far to hear but too close to look away.

The girl was looking intently at the guy who was concentrating on smoking his cigarette. She barely moved while he did not turn to face her once in the first ten minutes we watched them.

We came up with two possible scenarios:
A: She cheated on him, and she desperately wanted his forgiveness. Being disgusted with her infidelity, he could not bring himself to look at her.

B: He found a new woman. He wanted to end the relationship and move on to someone younger and less intense. He lost interest in this girl, but she would do anything to get him back. His mind fantasizing about his new squeeze, he could not bring himself to look at the pathetic girl in his presence.

For twenty minutes more, we saw their lips move. We saw her move in closer. He kept smoking cigarettes like he was alone on his Italian stoop. Neither of them seemed to interact with their waitress. At the end of their dinner, their lips pecked. His expression never changed. We fell in love with Nutella pizza.

To this day, that evening in Italia stands out to me. The number of people in our world astounds me. I constantly find myself writing a story in my mind about random people who catch my attention. I'm naturally curious about other people's lives. We encounter hundreds of strangers on a daily basis. I wonder how many people we leave an imprint on.

The Most Writing I've Done Since I Returned From Italy

Yesterday i saw a spider in my bathtub. Aware of the wax coating that prevents a spider to die from drowning, I proceeded to turn the water on full blast and force the asshole down the drain. 2 minutes after the water emptied, the spider had climbed up out of the drain once again. I repeated the act twice more before being over it. The spider looked half limp as the legs on one side of his body were flat against the tub. He was struggling to move. Perhaps his legs were sleeping. Since the water wouldn't kill him, I thought maybe heat would. I turned on my hair dryer and tried to blast the shit out of him. Then i realized i might've just helped in his recovery.

I left my bathroom. When I came back the same night, he was gone.

I'm afraid of retaliation. I tried to explain to the spider beforehand that I wasn't trying to kill him. I just wanted him to leave me alone. I'm not sure if he understood though. Now I sleep with one eye open.

I should've learned my lesson from the nursery rhyme.

Unexpectedly

Today was the first time I ventured off on my own. Surprisingly, I warmed up to it a lot more quickly than I imagined. It's interesting the amount of confidence and security you force upon yourself when you know you have no one to protect you at a given moment. Random people I encountered did not scare me, even if a couple creepers tried to talk to me. I also found myself tuning out the outside world and forgetting every useless thought that I might have had since I got here. I suppose it makes sense that to find inner peace you have to rid your mind of the outside noise, even if that includes good company. I will make a habit out of having my own time.

To recap the past weekend, a few girls on my program and I took a train to Venizia for a mini-visit to the famous city. On Sunday, several students on our program decided to cross the Arno River and hike up different hills to take pictures. People really need to make time to travel the world and see the sites photographed so often.. the places visitors try so desperately to recapture through movies, pictures, songs, and stories. Every experience attempts to be unique, but in reality we all see the same things. I took dozens of photos, and when I share them with people at home they will probably make positive comments. However, it probably is only special to me. To some people, photos are merely proof that someone once visited something worth seeing. To others, photos evoke memories of the moments that change their lives. I think what professional artists (photographers, writers, painters, etc.) strive to do is capture the moment and invite the audience to empathize so that they too can experience, without actually experiencing.

I still miss a lot of people and things from home, but I promise I am not homesick. I am enjoying my time away from the convenience of constant communication and transportation, but I am also counting down the days until I reunite with you and In-n-Out: only 29 days.